Its all a question of your point of view

Is the glass is half full, or half empty?

From where I stand now, nothing is clear cut, absolute. Everything under the sun has good parts and less desirable parts. It is all a question of which side of the coin you choose to focus on.

And this is most applicable in the world of humans. We all have ideas, views, opinions, interests, strengths, weaknesses, physical characteristics that are similar to others, and just as long a list, if not longer, that make us different from others.

My sense is that when we are young and ambitious, we spend a lot of time an energy proving to others that we are better qualified, smarter, harder working than the next "guy", but as we age, somehow proving how much better we are feels more and more like a waste of time. Somehow it feels like there are more important dragons to slay.

My dreams, now, are focused on how we can all work from our common strengths to weave together our differences into a tapestry that will make work exciting, productive and fun for all of us. Work does not have to be ruthless and cut-throat. Work can be about providing goods and services for a fair price to people who need or want them. Work could be about enjoying the companionship of our colleagues, family and friends, and behaving in a way that lifts their spirits and lightens their burdens.

In design the process can be as important as the end product

When I began my quest to "level the playing field", and give every team member an equal voice, one of my first connections was Turid Horgan. Turid is a Norwegian architect, and when we first connected, she was a research associate at MIT. Turid had come to MIT on a Fulbright fellowship to explore and advance "process architecture". When Turid practiced in Norway, she used "process architecture" in her work. Her projects ranged from community planning to work space planning and she carefully designed a process that would engage all stakeholders. Stakeholer group interaction was focused on a series of staged design games.

Turid's host and collaborator at MIT was Don Schon, one of the more accomplished and most published among MIT's wide spectrum of internationally acclaimed faculty. During the later stages of his career, Schon observed and documented a number of creative processes, such as composing music. It was a synergistic match, a process designer and a highly respected process aficionado. Together, Horgan and Schon began to dissect, document and apply process architecture in a number of settings. Their work together is described in the book, "Excellence by Design, Transforming Work Places and Work Processes".

Fast forward four years. We have been testing and developing our ideas about optimizing team performance, and exploring a number of ways to fund our work. I presented our interest in optimizing team work to the National Science Foundation, and they put me in touch with Dr. Robert Knecht at Colorado School of Mines, who has completed some foundational work in team performance. Bob Knecht has measured team performance in his project-based freshman design studio for a number of years. The teams producing the highest quality projects are teams who are facile twelve skills, six project-based skills and six relationship-based or "process" skills. This link back to the design process felt as if I looped back to where I began, wiser and with a deeper foundation.

In Bob Knechts pilot projects, applications of each of the twelve skills were counted by team observers.

For people who are interested, the task functions Bob Knecht "counted" were initiating, information seeking, information giving, clarifying or elaborating, summarizing, and consensus testing. The six process skills are encouraging, harmonizing, modifying, gate keeping, expressing group feelings and evaluating.

Connecting with our bodies and the natural world

There are some "new" stereotypes emerging in song lyrics, advertising and prime time TV. (From my observation, often lead indicators of cultural shifts.) Women are talking about their desires, and how they desire men. Some of my favorite song lyrics, from the "hidden track" on Dido's Life for Rent album are, "The closer you get, the better I feel." There are car ads and coffee ads with women "lusting" for more. My recollection is that this trend was foreshadowed in the now famous "I'll have what she's having" scene in the movie "When Harry Met Sally".

In print imagery, women are being linked to nature and the natural world. Some hypothesize that women, because they bear children, have a stronger connection to the cycles of nature. I'm not sure this is true. I believe that there have been cultural pressures for men to appear to less connected to nature.

My hypothesis is that as man evolved, "thinking man" had a higher status than primal man. Kings, priests and scribes "ruled". Intellectuals (initially defined as people who could read and write) seemed to get more "perks", higher status, more money, attract more women.

For women, being an "smart" was not always viewed as an asset. We were supposed to look good and be good listeners. Our bodies, especially if they look good, were the source of our power. My mother mentored me in how to look, and act innocent and naive. The intention of this coaching was to ensure that I attracted an appropriate mate.

My theory is that for at least the last hundred years, or so, men have been competing to get smarter and smarter and richer and richer and women have been competing to get more and more beautiful (thinner, better hair, bigger breasts, fewer wrinkles, etc.). And our motives - the men's to get smarter and richer and the women to get thinner and prettier --have been the same. All of us just wanted to be admired, respected and loved.

Self-help books and magazine articles are trying to get us all to become closer to our "authentic selves". This quest to be authentic has resulted in men having the freedom be more nurturing and women to have the freedom to be more powerful. There are a lot more options for all of us now, and huge changes from the tight girdle of cultural expectations our parent's generation faced.

All of this rambling has been foreplay for my punchline. I am "playing" with the idea of procreation being a metaphor for co-creation. Could it be that men and women inspire each other to be at the top of their games? Could the "attraction factor" be one of the things that gets us out of bed in the morning?

A former boss told me the story of his mother living in a retirement community. Her social group was all women. And one day a single man, a widower, arrived. Everything changed. Women who had been wearing dowdy house-dresses began to dress in Sunday-best. The conversation became more stimulating. People brushed or inserted their teeth, combed their hair, cleaned their glasses. Everyone seemed more engaged.

One female engineer told me that she selected her area of engineering focus because she found her professor so inspiring. "I had such a crush on him", she admitted, after a second glass of wine. It was her love for him that inspired her intellectual pursuit and life-long vocation.

When I look deep into my past, it was my love and admiration for a high school English teacher that shaped my life. I have him to thank for my love of poetry, my understanding of symbolism and metaphor and my proficiency with written self expression. He said, at least once a week, "Make your advocation (meaning your passion) your vocation". This aspiration has become my mantra.

What are all of the phases and stages of attraction and procreation? Who actually pursues who?Some areas of gender interaction are well documented, other aspects barely understood. What attracts people to each other? What is love? Is love real, or is it only a "story"? What are the roles and impact of both parties in the extended courtship and child rearing process?

All of this is "food for thought" and more than I have time to write about today.

Shared Leadership

How many of us ever think about our "mental models" of leadership?

I have heard some people say, "To be a leader, you need followers." That seems to make sense on the surface, but does it make deep, sustainable sense. If one "leads by example", my intuition is that one follows one's heart and, some day, others will see the value of the leader's work.

In my mind's eye, I never pictured walking at the head of the pack. I always pictured walking arm-in-arm.

What do you picture?

What if everyone is a leader in her or his own unique area of expertise? That's what makes sense to me. If everyone is a leader, how can we keep track of everyone? Who is the "go to" person for our wants, needs and desires?

My best guess, today, is that every day is a blank canvas, and each day all any one of us can do is the best we can to engage others and be engaged ourselves. There so many learning opportunities and playful negotiations in front of us.

Just to admit that we don't know what to expect, and sense that it is sure to be an adventure, is a great place to begin.

Shared and flexible leadership might look like a field of wheat rippling under tender breezes, or white caps in the turquoise Mediterranian dancing in the sun light. I have imagined a room full of partner less dancing where you catch one person's eye and playfully dance, and then another pair of eyes and another.

We DO IT Better

Collaborate, that is. This past Saturday I participated in the annual planning retreat of the Boston Society of Architects, known within the Greater Boston design community as the BSA. We began the program by all ninety-something of us in attendance stating or names, BSA or building industry affiliation and what we are passionate about. I said I was was passionate about collaboration and I know that we (the design community) will lead the fireworks of co-creation because we DO IT better than anyone else. (This play on words is intentionally playful. Yes, in my opinion, healthy collaboration almost always involves some flirting. Letting people know they are desirable partners is one of the arts of working with others few people talk about.)

The "we do it better" sentiment seemed to resonate in the room. Pam McKinney, one of the opening speakers, even referred to my claim in her concluding remarks. We all know in our hearts that the design-and-building community excells at collaboration, yet if no one else - in the business, legal, financial and/or medical communities - seems to know and, if no one knows it, does it even matter?

The conversation advanced, as it always does, to note that we all (the design community) spend too much time talking to people like ourselves that, for the most part, agree with us. How do we let others understand what we do and the value we bring to all human endeavor and compenate us fairly to share our knowledge with them?

Time is Money

Many of us in the design community and beyond have heard "time is money" as one of the justifications for almost everything. Why to meet or not meet, come in early, stay late, the reasons others criticize our actions that appear to the observer to be a "waste of time".

I did not realize until I read George Lakoff's book Metaphors We Live By that "time is money" is a foundational metaphor. Evidently, according to Lakoff (a Professor of Linguistics at the University of California, Berkley) language, thought, and learning are "constructed" through a system of metaphors. The metaphor "time is money" is tied to our culture in the west, especially the United States. The "time is money" concept encompasses our cultural experiences with money, limited resources, and valuable commodities. There are cultures where time has little or no relationship to any of these things.

Could it be that, as we continue to strive for and obtain quicker and quicker ways of doing things, time, as it relates to work and our work lives, is no longer the limiting factor? If we continue to focus on doing things more quickly because "time is money", we may lose sight of the reasons behind our frantic pace to keep up with the demands of the clock, colleagues and employers.

As my friend and collaborator, Turid Horgen, once said "If it takes nine months to make a baby, can nine women make a baby in one month?" Some things just take time, and rushing and/or expediting is not going to speed up the process. Whatever happened to "patience is a virtue" and "Rome wasn't built in a day"?

So if "time is money" is an outdated metaphor, what metaphor can we use or create to replace it. My vote is for a metaphor I read in the novel On Beauty by Zadie Smith. Zadie's metaphor, which she attributes to her husband, is "time is the way we spend our love".

I am sure there are other metaphors for time. For me, the reason to "play" with metaphors is because the metaphors we use unconsciously may be limiting our life choices. Being conscious and intentional about using metaphors consistent with our values may help us and others create a future where people, family and relationships are fundamental to our future survival, health and well-being.

Collaboration?

Here we are, back at the beginning. After all, this blog is named "Collaboration Blog". My sense is that within the design community we "talk a good game". We all want to collaborate, and we speak of the benefits of collaboration. Yet, when you come right down to it, how many instances of collaboration have most of us experienced?

Most of us have had brief glimpses of collaborative activity. Reports are that it is stimulating, engaging and can feel like everyone is moving in slow motion when the ebb and flow of human interaction is working. How can we make these rare instances where everything is moving in sync more routine in our lives?

I am not claiming to be an expert. Yet, when I began this quest, over seven years ago now, I threw myself into the "collaboration game". I vowed to find a group of collaborative people, and work together to design the inclusive world that we all imagined would be possible to create.

In addition to passion to be collaborative and advance collaborative practices, I also had an intuitive sense that my value system, ethical foundation (what I felt was fair) and professional and personal aspirations were similar to those of other women. I also felt that my value system, ethical foundation and aspirations were somewhat difference from most of the men I know or have worked with, especially the "alpha men" who seem to be the people most likely to start and build successful businesses.

When I think of harmonious human endeavor, the barn raising, quilting bee and pot luck dinner come to mind. Do these projects share any common ground with our professional worklife? If they don't currently, could they?

One look says it all

He looked at me with daggers in his eyes.

He wouldn't look me in the eye. (I knew something is wrong.)

I could see it all over her face.

The look of love.

All the expressions that we read every day. And many times we know the facial expressions are saying something different from the message the face and body is saying. How many times have we heard "Nothing is wrong" and known that the words were covering something deeply wrong. My intuitive sense is that when we don't trust people, it is because their facial and body-language messages are somehow out of alignment with the words coming out of their mouths.

My intuitive sense is that those of us who are slower to speak (often designers and others who are less "verbally aggressive") in a meeting or in a crowded room have a better than average ability to "read" all of the communication that the faces and bodies are "speaking". Sometimes we can "see" more objectively than the people actively engaged in dialogue. (We aren't worrying about sounding smart or what to say next.)

In the last ten years or so there has been more in the business press about emotional intelligence, social intelligence and, recently, cultural intelligence. It's funny how giving something a name and writing a book about it makes it "real". Many of us, especially intuitive and creative people, have been reading and listening to the "silent language" of facial expression and body posture.

One of the reasons I created this blog was to create language about the processes of collaboration and design. How the process begins, what types of things inspire us to collaborate and design, why do we stop collaborating, or designing, lose confidence in our ability to design, or lose the desire to collaborate, how it feels to collaborate and design, and how it feels to witness and view our creations.

My sense is that there is so much that is very important that remains unsaid.